Nichts o the Lívin Deid - by
Kirkyaird, nicht – the hoastin yird
Astir aneath a smit-smuir shrood
Scots
Listen tae the Teacher
He’s five year auld, he’s aff tae school,Fairmer’s bairn, wi a pencil an a rule,His teacher scoffs when he says ‘hoose’,‘The word is “house”, you silly little goose.’He tells his Ma when he gets backHe saw a ‘mouse’ in an auld cairt track.His father laughs fae the stack-yard dyke, ‘Yon’s a “moose”, ye daft wee […]
The Veggies’ Olympics - by
Runner beans are affa fit
Sproots are fine an swack
Mill o’ Tifty’s Annie - by
At Mill O’ Tifty there lived a man
In the neighborhood of Fyvie
He had a bonnie dochter dear
Whose name was Bonnie Annie
A Dug, A Dug - by
Hey, daddy, wid yi get us a dug?
A big broon alsatian? Ur a wee white pug,
Ur a skinny wee terrier ur a big fat bull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Fi’baw in the Street - by
Shote! here’s the poliss,
the Gayfield poliss,
an thull pi’iz in the nick fir
pleyan fi’baw in the street!
Sarah: Fed Up - by
See ma mammy;
says eat yer dinner.
Gies me cabbidge.
Field Days - by
Old Davie still did much farm work by hand.
/ Tae thin neeps, ye gae up an doon thae rowse.
/ Leave…
Murmansk - by
He minded dem getting torpedoed i da White Sea,
hit blew da boo clean aff.
Da Bulksheid, he held though an dey limpit inta Arcangel,
whaur shu wis lashed ta da peir, an micht still be dere yet.
Drumneachie Ferm - by
The ferm wis a peat shed, a stack o hackit kinnlin
The ferm wis reeshlin corn and a tattiebogle
The ferm wis buits lined up bi the lowe fur blaikin
The ferm wis washin skelpin in the win
Old Tongue - by
When I was eight, I was forced south. Not long after, when I opened my mouth, a strange thing happened. I lost my Scottish accent. Words fell off my tongue: eedyit, dreich, wabbit, crabbit stummer, teuchter, heidbanger, so you are, so am ur, see you, see ma ma, shut yer geggie or I’ll gie you […]
Dr Wha - by
Wha’s jist a thoctie in anither’s heid?
Wha’s Doctor Wha? Wha better kens nor s^he?