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parodies

The Massacre of the MacPherson - by William Edmondstoune Aytoun

{ Poem }

FHAIRSHON swore a feudAgainst the clan M’Tavish—March’d into their landTo murder and to rafish;For he did resolveTo extirpate the vipers,With four-and-twenty men,And five-and-thirty pipers. But when that he had goneHalf-way down Strath-Canaan,Of his fighting tailJust three there were remainin’.They were all he hadTo back him in ta battle:All the rest had goneOff to drive ta […]

‘How I pine…’ - by Tom Leonard

{ Poem }

How I pine for a hawdy,
/ yir really beautiful body,
/ ahm right besotten,
/ ah fancy yi rotten;
/ let’s huvva tet-a-tet
/ – stoap playn…

To My Love - by Lydia Robb

{ Poem }

Shall I compare you to an Autumn day?
The seasons, love, have grown more temperate.
Rough winds have shaken us along the way,
The summers gone too far to contemplate.

The Shopping Forecast - by Eddie Gibbons

{ Poem }

The Shopping Forecast issued by the Dole Office
/ at 1930 on Monday 1st January.
/
/ There are warnings of Sales in Frasers,
/ Debenhams,…

Daith o Saint Andrew - by Frances Robson

{ Poem }

Haw, Andra, whaur’s yer God noo?
Naething lik bein stark deid, is there, pal?

Rats - by Alison Prince

{ Poem }

You want to be a fat cat, want to do the deals?
/ Fix the odds, pull the birds, eat expensive meals
/ that…

The Original (Selkirk) and the Alternative Grace - by Richard Medrington

{ Poem }

with apologies
/
/ Some hae meat and canna eat
/ And some wad eat that want it:
/ But we hae meat and we can eat,
/ And…

Rose - by Matthew Fitt

{ Poem }

Ye hink ah’m like a reid, reid whit?
/ You dinna hae a scoob!
/ And whit dae you ken aboot melodie?
/ Dae ye hink…

From a Mouse - by Liz Lochhead

{ Poem }

The present author being, from her mother’s milk,
/ a lover of the poetic effusions of Mr Robert Burns and
/ all…

James Macfarlan - by Edwin Morgan

{ Poem }

“A man’s a man for a’ that” – how does he know?
/ Traipsing with his plough, the rural hero,
/ Swaggering down the…

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