Skip to content

Scottish Poetry Library

Register/Sign in
Shopping Bag Shopping Bag
Bringing people and poems together
  • Home
  • COVID-19
    • Re-Opening FAQ
  • Poetry
    • Poems
    • Poets
    • Our National Poet
    • Podcasts
    • Best Scottish Poems
    • Poetry and Mindfulness
    • Champions 2020
    • Posters
    • Publishers
  • Library
    • Become a borrower
    • Catalogue
    • Collections
    • Ask a librarian
    • Copyright enquiries
  • Learning
    • National Poetry Day 2019
    • National Poetry Day archive
    • SQA set texts
    • Learning resources
    • New to poetry?
    • Advice for poets
  • Events
    • Calendar
    • Exhibitions
    • Venue hire
    • List an event
  • Shop
    • Scotland’s Makar
    • Poetry Pamphlet Cards
    • Pocket Poets
    • Scottish Poetry
    • Help
  • About us
    • Our story
    • Our people
    • Our projects
    • Jobs
    • Our building
    • FAQs
    • Find us
  • Support us
    • Become a Friend
    • Donate
    • Easy Fundraising
  • Blog
Shopping BagShopping Bag
Ask a librarian
  • Home
  • >
  • Poetry
  • >
  • Jackie Kay
  • >
  • Whilst Leila Sleeps
Donate Donate icon Ask a Librarian Ask a Librarian icon

Whilst Leila Sleeps

Jackie Kay

I am moving in the dead of night,
packing things, turning out lights.
My fingers tie knots like fish nets.
I want to be in my mother’s house
but she is all the way over

the other side of the world. Boxes;
I can’t see out of the back window.
Leila is a bundle in her car seat.
Her small mouth hanging open.
Maybe it is not innocence after all,

it could be the sleep of oblivion.
My headlights are paranoic eyes
sweeping the streets for – what?
A split second before they appeared
I thought I was safe. What is that fear.

Does it have a name. They want my name.
Their smiles tighten my stomach.
I bite on my tongue, hard. Their faces.
I have no witness. They take my licence,
my papers. Now there is nothing left

but to go with the men in plain suits.
Leila stirs and opens her eyes wide.
I try and say something to soothe.
My voice is a house with the roof
blown off. What do I tell my daughter –

We are done for. There is a need to worry.
I cannot lie to her. The night dreams
my terror; a slow light tails the fast car;
Leila tugs at my coat. I whisper
her cradle song and she holds on.


Jackie Kay

from Darling: New & Selected Poems
(Bloodaxe Books, 2007) by permission
of the publisher.

Tags:

authority English fear mothers paranoia SQA National 5 texts
Share this
Facebook
Twitter
Email

Learn more

Jackie Kayb.1961

Jackie Kay was born and brought up in Scotland. She was awarded an MBE in 2006, and was appointed Scotland's Makar in 2016.
More about Jackie Kay

Events

Discover poetry events at the Scottish Poetry Library and beyond.
Find forthcoming Events

Join

Become a Borrower or support our work by becoming a Friend of SPL.
Join us
  • Newsletter signup
  • Accessibility
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
Scottish Poetry Library
5 Crichton's Close, Canongate
Edinburgh EH8 8DT
Tel: +44 (0)131 557 2876
© Scottish Poetry Library 2021.
The Scottish Poetry Library is a registered charity (No. SCO23311).
City of Edinburgh logo Green Arts Initiative logo Creative Scotland logo
By leaves we live

The Scottish Poetry Library is staffed weekdays from 10am – 2pm and is providing a limited service including postal loans and Click & Collect. For details, click COVID-19 in the menu bar above. Dismiss