The time traivellers’ convention
Bring a pairtner tae the Ceilidh
Dress informal, the invite stated
At the time traivellers’ convention.
Mary Queen o Scots arrived hersel
Signed up fur speed-datin.
Said she wis a romantic,
Cud lose her heid ower the richt chiel.
The sheik in the tartan troosers
Turned oot tae be Rabbie Burns
Wi a bevy o beauties he’d gaithered
On his traivels.
John Knox tuik charge o the raffle
The kirk being eesed tae collectin
Naebody socht him fur a lady’s choice.
Lord Byron niver missed a single dance
In the Gay Gordons. He wis last tae leave.
The Loch Ness Monster, playin watter music
Last seen wis reelin roon bi Ailsa Crag
Wi thirteen kelpies and a Shetlan silkie.
Feedback suggests they’ll aa be back neist year.