The Armchair Monologues
The writer sits here, sometimes, though mainly
it's the bums of visitants—crisp crunching
tongue-flappers—the odd dog with
its belly full of sun. Cheek of them,
leaving litter braising in my fissures, the body's
party-bag of skin shavings, crushed
eyelashes, & the rest. To those gawking
at my tatty bits, smirking sanctimoniously,
I tell it straight: I took a bit
of all them. A tad tatterdemalion for it, sure,
but anatomically sound: flush walnut,
emerald velvet, floral propellors & gold
studs—hammered home like rivets in a ship.
I am an island, a rock, a pucker fainting
couch. YesYes, the tear in my stocking,
but you're dead wrong, it's not
early on-set entropy, it's sweeter than that
—same as when words liquify to laughter.
A piece of advice, if you ask him
& he doesn't rejoinder, don't repeat
the damn question. He heard you fine—
it's not a shun, just not to his, albeit queer,
taste. One final musing
from this seventies kid, naebody's bairn,
found begging by the roadside:
when possible, do simple things
to make others happy, even when it's easier
not to—it helps the crowded hearted ones
in their great uncluttering. That way when,
bumfuzzled or weary pegged, they come
to rest here, I can feel a heat in them,
the sound of distance underfoot
peacefully dissolve.
About this poem
This poem was included in Best Scottish Poems 2023. Best Scottish Poems is an online publication, consisting of 20 poems chosen by a different editor each year, with comments by the editor and poets. It provides a personal overview of a year of Scottish poetry. The editor for 2023 was Aoife Lyall.
Editor’s Comments:
The tone here is witty, irreverent, defiant: “mainly / it’s the bums of visitants – crisp crunching / tongue-flappers”. Pederson gives us life from the perspective of an armchair: observations, confessions, advice, culminating with a lesson as straightforward and familiar as it is wonderfully articulated: “do simple things / to make others happy, even when it’s easier // not to”. There is a deep love in this message: to know that making a cup of tea for yourself may not mean much, but how, in making it for someone else, you may help “the crowded hearted ones in their great uncluttering”.
Author’s Comments:
This poem was a commission from the wonderful Sorcha at the Alasdair Gray Archive. I got to poozle around the great Gray’s stunningly recreated writing studio and hone in on an object. I chose the armchair. It’s a focal point of the room; a people magnet. It’s imbued with the gauze of Alasdair’s very existence. But not just Alasdair, his assistants, publishing allies, friends, family, and beyond. Maybe even some chippy animal life.
Like the many sublime voices that spilled out of Alasdair’s head, I also wanted the piece to be involved in a couple of different conversations all at once. With itself; with Alasdair; and with the business of giving advice, the world beyond.
It’s also been made into a short animation by a talented student at Glasgow School of Art. A total thrill to see it evolve up and off the page.
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Michael Pedersen
Michael Pedersen is a poet and a co-founder of the literary collective Neu! Reekie!.