about your armpit
as we find a way to wipe your armpit
without lifting your arm up and away
you say, you’ve never seen me so (I forget
the word you use and replace it with close
as in, we’ve never been so close) and I say
I was thinking that—it’s because, you say
I didn’t want you near what wasn’t my body
(I’m putting it into words before I forget)
there isn’t much space between the stiff
compression vest and your arm but I ease
the cloth in and two days later I’m thinking
of the word honour, as in what an honour
which is not a word I often use and I wonder
what you would say, if you knew I was writing
about your armpit
About this poem
This poem was included in Best Scottish Poems 2023. Best Scottish Poems is an online publication, consisting of 20 poems chosen by a different editor each year, with comments by the editor and poets. It provides a personal overview of a year of Scottish poetry. The editor for 2023 was Aoife Lyall.
Editor’s Comments:
We do not know exactly why the speaker is bathing the subject of the poem- illness, accident, or infirmity – but we can determine that it is an intimate and necessary act, one that represents a shift in the dynamic of the relationship between the two. This is very much a poem about the fluidity of language and relationships: how words and relationships can appear unchanged on the surface but be utterly altered by the context they find themselves in. How “honour” was once considered synonymous with obey, and here finds itself more closely aligned with love, tenderness, respect and dignity.
Author’s Comments:
I wrote this poem when I was helping a loved one recover from gender affirming surgery. After years of navigating the barriers to trans healthcare in this country, the moment felt important to record, with love, and the wish that everyone receives the care and support they deserve.
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