A Dug, A Dug

Hey, daddy, wid yi get us a dug?
A big broon alsatian? Ur a wee white pug,
Ur a skinny wee terrier ur a big fat bull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?        

N whose dug’ll it be when it durties the flerr?
and pees’n the carpet, and messes the sterr?
It’s me ur yur mammy’ll be taen fur a mug.
Away oot an play. Yur no needin a dug.

Bit, daddy! Thur gien thum away
doon therr at the RSPCA.
Yu’ll get wan fur nothing so ye wull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?        

Doon therr at the RSPCA!
Dae ye hink ah’ve goat nothing else tae dae
bit get you a dug that ah’ll huftae mind?
Yur no needin a dug. Ye urny blind!       

Bit, daddy, thur rerr fur guardin the hoose
an thur better’n cats fur catchin a moose,
an wee Danny’s dug gies is barra a pull.
Aw, hey daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye? 

Dae ye hear im? Oan aboot dugs again?
Ah hink that yin’s goat dugsn the brain.
Ah know whit ye’ll get; a skiten the lug
if ah hear any merr aboot this bliddy dug.         

Bit, daddy, it widnae be dear tae keep
N ah’d make it a basket fur it tae sleep
N ah’d take it fur runs away orr the hull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?        

Ah don’t hink thur’s ever been emdy like you.
Ye could wheedle the twist oot a flaming coarkscrew.
Noo get doon aff mah neck. Ah don’t want a hug.
Awright. That’s anuff. Ah’ll get ye a dug.

Aw, daddy! A dug! A dug!