A Dug, A Dug
Hey, daddy, wid yi get us a dug?
A big broon alsatian? Ur a wee white pug,
Ur a skinny wee terrier ur a big fat bull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
N whose dug’ll it be when it durties the flerr?
and pees’n the carpet, and messes the sterr?
It’s me ur yur mammy’ll be taen fur a mug.
Away oot an play. Yur no needin a dug.
Bit, daddy! Thur gien thum away
doon therr at the RSPCA.
Yu’ll get wan fur nothing so ye wull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Doon therr at the RSPCA!
Dae ye hink ah’ve goat nothing else tae dae
bit get you a dug that ah’ll huftae mind?
Yur no needin a dug. Ye urny blind!
Bit, daddy, thur rerr fur guardin the hoose
an thur better’n cats fur catchin a moose,
an wee Danny’s dug gies is barra a pull.
Aw, hey daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Dae ye hear im? Oan aboot dugs again?
Ah hink that yin’s goat dugsn the brain.
Ah know whit ye’ll get; a skiten the lug
if ah hear any merr aboot this bliddy dug.
Bit, daddy, it widnae be dear tae keep
N ah’d make it a basket fur it tae sleep
N ah’d take it fur runs away orr the hull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Ah don’t hink thur’s ever been emdy like you.
Ye could wheedle the twist oot a flaming coarkscrew.
Noo get doon aff mah neck. Ah don’t want a hug.
Awright. That’s anuff. Ah’ll get ye a dug.
Aw, daddy! A dug! A dug!
About this poem
It is worth noting that the RSPCA does not operate in Scotland, which has its own independent organization, the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SSPCA).